Sunday, February 22, 2009

21 February, 2009

I know I said my next post would be about Megan, but I haven't had a chance to post in a couple of days and I'm here in Riverdale right now.

As usual I'm sitting here by myself. Cody is with Marquee. The only person he has time for lately. When I got here I was talking to Ryan on the phone and I was surprised to find a black wiener dog in a small cage on the floor. It was sitting right next to a heater on high and went nuts when I came in. I'm not sure how long he had been sitting there but I let him out and had to fill his empty water bowl. I then had to clean up after him as he promptly shit on the floor. I'm not sure what kind of college student needs a $400.00 puppy, but I am sure it seems wholly irresponsible to be keeping the dog here in a small cage when it belongs to Marquee.

I know Ryan mentioned the whole groomsman thing, and I guess now is as good a time as any to discuss it. It all started when Ryan came back to visit over Christmas. Cody spent every waking moment with Marquee and left Ryan here by himself the entire time. Ryan told me on more than one occiasion that he would have left during the week if it weren't for the fact that he and I would be hanging out over the weekend.

It needs to be said that throughout my relationship with Megan that I have always made time for Ryan and Cody. Even after I moved to Gainesville I made time for them on the weekends. I've spent the last 6 years living away from Megan, and when I would come to see her on the weekends, I always left early (like 9:00 early) so that I could hang out with my brothers (Ryan and Cody. And I really do mean it when I say brothers. I love them both more than I love my actual siblings). I didn't have to do that, and I could have stayed elsewhere, but I always made sure to stay with them and always gave up precious time with Megan to do that.

Considering all of that, ever since Ryan was left alone during Christmas, Cody has been doing the same to me on the weekends. He sees Marquee throughout the week, bit still ignores me on weekends.

There was a recent incident where I didn't see Cody for a couple of weeks. We were both busy and I didn't make it down here. I talked to Cody during the week and told him I would be down over the weekend. He made a point to come home early on that Friday to hang out with me, but I didn't make it down. I let him know that I wasn't going to make it down, but I guess he didn't get the message in time because he got here early anyway. Needless to say I felt terrible. I apologized profusely and offered to hang out on Saturday. He didn't show up until after 12:00 (which Ryan got pissed about and bitched at Cody for behind my back...mostly because he felt I had been wronged. Good intentions...bad results). I made nice with Cody and told him I would love to hang out the next weekend. He told me that was the weekend after Marquees b-day and he would let me know what day he could hang out.

Fast forward to the next weekend and Cody texted me Friday morning asking if we could hang out starting at 9:00 that night. I said yes, and was excited about it. While I was driving down (I cancelled on Megan that night) he texted me at 8:45 and said not that night but Saturday. I was upset, but didn't want to show it so I said no problem and just turned around and went home. The next night as I was leaving Megan's at 8:45 Cody texted me again and said he wouldn't make it because of a b-day celebration with Marquee. Now he had already celebrated with her on her actual b-day in Wednesday, cancelled at the last minute on Friday, and is now cancelling at the last minute again. I haven't spoken to him since then, and he's made no attempt to contact me.

Honestly, the way I see it, it's obvious where his interests lie, and they have nothing to do with his brothers. My wedding day is a day of celebration, and I can't give such a respected position to someone who has treated me like that. I promise I'm not making a mountain out of a molehill, if you think I am talk to Ryan. I know he's young, but it's just not right to treat family that way.

Now I just have to figure out how to tell him that Marquee isn't invited. Not that I have anything against her. He makes his own decisions and I'm not gonna blame her for how he acts. I just can't afford for her to come too. I've left a lot of friends and family off the list to keep costs down. I just hope he can understand that.

That's my 2 cents, and my explanation for my actions. I hope that everyone understands where I'm coming from. By the way, it's 12:20 am, and he's still not home. I guess I'm gonna put the dog up and go to bed.


  1. To say that we're in complete agreement would be an understatement. It's like I've said before, he might not fully understand the bed he's making, but he'll have to lie in it nonetheless. The truly sad thing is that when (not if) he gets his heart broken, he probably won't have my support to help pick up the pieces.

  2. Yeah. He'll have your support. People in love do stupid things. You guys supported me even though I had my head up MJD's butt for three years. When I was ready to rejoin the world, you were all waiting to welcome me. Just read 1 Corinthians 13, you'll see the characteristics of true love. Those characteristics don't just apply to the person you love, but to how you treat everyone when you're in love... When you are insecure in a relationship you will pour all your energy into that relationship. I don't know what the deal is with the dog. I don't expect much and therefore I'm not disappointed. For me, as a parent, it's hard to watch the fallout from the decisions that were taken away from me during my childrens' formative years. I set boundaries... those boundaries were moved, not supported by those who should have been supportive of my role as a parent... and there are some definite character traits that are not what I would have chosen for my kids. Josh, you have to do what seems right for you. This will be the most precious day of your life, you need to not have to worry about someone showing up or not showing up, being supportive or not being supportive... I would just say, try to have future sight. What will matter five years from now? I barely knew Angie when she asked me to be her bridesmaid but she knew that we would be sisters for life - and we are. Cody will figure it all out in time. I did. I love all my boys!